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Objections to Marriage Permanence Answered

Jun 13, 2019

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The following is the first part in a series answering common objections to the unbreakable nature of the marriage covenant. The video series on my Youtube and Godtube channels is a bit more detailed, as my ministry partner who is asking the questions gets more detailed, and raises other objections in the middle. I recommend looking at the video series for this reason.

This section answers: Objection 1: My wife was abusive and a prostitute and Objection 2: Jesus is love and He forgives all sins.


First wife was abusive and a prostitute 


Well brother, if our husband or wife turns out to be a terrible sinner, we turn more deeply to Christ for our strength and our peace. We do what we can to lead that person out of that sin, and we pray for them, but we know that in some cases it takes years before a person who is immoral to leave their habits behind. We pray for God to turn their hearts, and for God’s mercy on them.

However, no sinful behavior severs a marriage covenant. The marriage covenant, according to the Word of God which we profess to believe, is for life. It is formed by God when we are married, and it dissolves when one partner passes away. You will not find any verses in the New Testament that teach a sin can dissolve a marriage, or that many can. Nor do we find any verses in the New Testament which teach we may remarry, for sin or any other reason. That permission simply isn’t there.


It is important to address the terrible kind of situation you bring up, but it has nothing to do with ending a marriage, or with taking another spouse. These things are out of the question. In the case of very serious abuse, which can in fact be dangerous to human life, of course it is legitimate to physically separate from that behavior, by physically separating from the person. Ideally, though, even this is not permanent, but is meant only until the person repents of dangerous behavior, and then reconciliation is possible. However, nothing in the need to separate either biblically or logically requires a legal divorce, nor does it require committing adultery by taking another partner. These situations are surely trying on the soul, as are other situations, but God does not put us through more temptation than we can bear, and He promises to provide for all of our needs if we ask. He will give us what we need in those soul crushing times, and we in turn learn to rest on Him more deeply. That is the response to an abusive or immoral partner. Adultery can never be the right response.


No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.  1 Corinthians 10:13



Jesus is love and He forgives all sin including divorce


If we were speaking merely of one past sin, surely this would be a legitimate response. I committed a sin. I recognized it and I repented. I can know that God forgives me in Christ. However, this is not the situation we deal with in divorce and remarriage at all. Primarily, that’s because remarriage is not merely a past sin, but rather is an ongoing sin. One continues to go to bed night after night with a partner OTHER THAN one’s actual spouse. When one is living in sin, one cannot speak about needing forgiveness for a past sin. Rather one needs to speak of ending a present and continuing sin, and THEN seeking forgiveness.


The idea one can commit adultery day in and day out is no more reasonable than the idea one can commit sodomy day in and day out. The idea one can stay in adultery just because one has officially called it a marriage is no more reasonable than the idea one can stay in sodomy just because one calls it a marriage, as some do these days. If one is living in sin, that of adultery through remarriage or any other, one must repent of the sin, not just assume God will forgive you.


Remember, when it comes to ongoing sins of sexual immorality, the New Testament gives this a reason to excommunicate the brethren, both kick them out of the church, and have nothing to do with them. The Holy Spirit did not call the church to “forgive” those living in sin. It called the Church to warn them and cut them off from the congregation. Ongoing sin is not past sin. Darkness cannot be woven with light.


deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. 1 Corinthians 5:5 Therefore purge out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, (vs. 7)


The New Testament teaches in the clearest possible language that in the new life in Christ, we no longer live in sin. We are now dead to sin, so that we may be alive to Christ. The old life has passed away. The New Testament also teaches that our sinful ways are in the past. It even lists sodomy and adultery in the very same passage as examples of sins that we have been washed clean of. “Such were some of you” should remind us that our lives in the flesh are past tense, not present. Moreover, the Bible has the same warning for adulterers as for sodomites – you will not inherit the kingdom of heaven, the Bible says. You do not have a part in eternal life. The very same passage we quote to practicing sodomites contains the very same lesson for practicing adulterers – you won’t go to heaven.


Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites,

nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11



These are totally different rules than a mere past sin. They refer to willful, bold continual sin that the professed Christian thinks he has a “right” to do. The only choice is to throw ourselves on God’s mercy and repent.


While I speak uniquely of remarriage as ongoing adultery, I also have to point out there are times when divorce can be an ongoing sin. For if reconciliation is possible, and one party is refusing to reconcile, this is continual sin as well, albeit not adultery. It is continual unforgiveness, a terrible sin that Christ warns us against. The Bible teaches plainly that if our brother in Christ desires forgiveness, we give him forgiveness. Christ even teaches that if we do not forgive our brother, He will not forgive us either. Therefore, even those spouses who have been separated must be willing to reconcile, and reunite, if it is possible to do in the future. Forgiveness, including the practical restoration of the other party, is the obligation of the Christian. It is not an option.


“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

 “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:14-15



You can find my marriage book Get Married and Save the World right here: https://www.xulonpress.com/bookstore/bookdetail.php?PB_ISBN=9781 545659052&HC_ISBN= 

It is available on e-book here: https://www.amazon.com/Get-Married-Save-World-Christian-ebook/dp /B07RT6ZKCL/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1558227515&sr=8-1

Feel free to sample some excerpts from the book: https://www.holinessofthebride.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Bo ok-Portions-and-Sales-Link-for-Website.pdf 

I’ve been working for holiness and reform in the Church at this website: https://www.holinessofthebride.com/ 

Contact me anytime at: kodeshkallah@yahoo.com