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Trust: Marriage Book Portion

Aug 03, 2019

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There is much more I am going to say on the one flesh union that pictures salvation, but I want to stop for a moment and speak about trust. Trust in God first. Trust in Christ. The life of the Holy Spirit with us. I have personally met believers who have the same attitude about marriage as those children of divorce listed in the study. They have the attitude that it is bound to fail. They are not confident in their ability to have a successful and happy marriage. They don’t trust that the partner they might marry will stay with them, but fear they just might run off at any point, sooner or later. It goes without saying that the believers I’ve met with this attitude are not married yet, and some are not especially close to finding a mate. Their attitude has shaped their actions. Their attitude has destroyed their confidence. Moreover, it has not just been their own parents who have given them that idea, but the society in general, including other Christians. For even if they did not come from a splintered home themselves, they likely know others who have, they know the dangers, they know the common social expectations of fighting and breakup. They know that many other Christians don’t even believe in biblical marriage anyway. Who wouldn’t be scared away from marriage? To watch Christians who have been married 20 or 30 years send the other away can be shocking. Why should the future generations believe in marriage?


You know, we are not a people who get truth from other human beings. We are not reliant on other human beings ultimately for the guidance in life which counts. We are a people who receive divine truth from God, and we have the Holy Spirit dwelling with us. (John 14:26) So I answer the above questions with my own question: how can we who are alive in Christ let sinful men steer us from our course? How can we who have been brought out of sin and death, fear death once again? If we have a Savior who conquered the grave, we should not fear death. Or pain. Or divorce. If it was up to fellow Christians to lead us in our faith, we’d be lost. That’s true of marriage. That’s true of anything. I have worked in ministry several times, and seeing the kind of compromise and corruption that exists, I’d say if it were up to mankind to lead me, I’d just go back to being an atheist. I’d never say the name of Christ again. Man’s example, even the better examples, falls short. It is a failure. Yet the Bible teaches that we who have the Holy Spirit of promise are being washed clean, made righteous, conformed to Christ. (Ephesians 1:13, 1 Corinthians 6:11, Romans 8:29) See that’s up to God, not up to man. It says that the Spirit of God will guide us in all truth (John 16:13), and that even when man fails in the greatest ways God is still true to His promise. (Romans 3:3-4). No amount of disgraced marriages can ever take us from our course if we believe in God. If we believe in all that He tells us. We will never be confounded by failed marriages.


Therefore the conclusion of what I am saying is this: that as a Christian you can have a successful, peaceful and godly marriage if you trust in our Lord. If you are a child of divorce, you can have a successful, peaceful and godly marriage if you trust in our Lord. If everyone you personally know is divorced, you can have a successful, peaceful and godly marriage if you trust in our Lord. Trust in Him and obey. One preacher that I follow talks about marriage in his own family, and how 22 out of 25 close relatives either got divorced or had children out of wedlock. That is 22 out of 25! Yet he is happily married, and raising up many children in the faith. Those failed relationships did not stop him; they only inspire him to do his job more earnestly. The world needs the witness of your marriage, including the witness of your kind forbearance if things start to go wrong in your marriage. Including the witness of your forgiveness when your spouse sins in your marriage. The world needs your children raised up in the Lord. It needs your children raised up in virtue. It needs the image of the perfect eternal God that marriage is. Unless you plan celibacy uniquely for the sake of service to God, the world needs to see your marriage.


If you have ever read about the mutiny on the Bounty (the real life event not the movie) you will hear about what is possible in the way of survival. Much of the crew of the British ship the HMS Bounty mutinied, in part from missing the pleasure of Tahiti and in part from the harshness of the captain, and they set the deposed captain Bligh and the sailors loyal to him off the main boat in a simple 23-foot open vessel. Now, a 23-foot open boat is not how you want to sail on the seas, yet the mutineers had control over the boat, and the rest had to survive on this glorified raft. Captain Bligh, in a ridiculous maritime feat, sailed the small, overloaded boat about 4,000 miles from the south Pacific to southeast Asia. He lost only a handful of men in the incredible journey. In a way, believers are like him. We have seen the mutineers take over marriage. In fact, we have seen the mutineers take over the churches. Yet we have been given enough grace to take our men and protect our men on a long ocean voyage. What we have is little, but with God’s supernatural power we arrive at our destination. The countless divorces we see are distressing, but they are not distressing enough to mean we will fail. We have all the tools we need. God gave them to us. He navigates for us. You can trust that God will make you one flesh with your spouse for life.


By the way I want to mention what happened to the mutineers. The mutineers, led by an ironically named Fletcher Christian eventually landed on an island in the middle of the south Pacific. They began fighting amongst each other. They killed most of their own people. The men discovered how to make liquor from the native plants, and things only got worse. The women tried to escape from the hellhole and failed. In the end it was only one man and a handful of women left, plus their children. The rest died. This is what will happen to the destroyers of marriage as well. Those who stay with the captain and ride in his boat, will make it to safe shores. The captain is amazing. The rest will inherit death, but there is still hope for their children.



The above is a section from Chapter 4 - about the lifelong nature of marriage - of my marriage book: Get Married and Save the World.

The book is available at Xulon Press right here: https://www.xulonpress.com/bookstore/bookdetail.php?PB_ISBN=9781 545659052&HC_ISBN=


You can also find it for sale at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. I ask you to use Xulon Press though, since it is a Christian business.


I’ve been working for holiness and reform in the Church at: https://www.holinessofthebride.com/ 

Contact me anytime at: kodeshkallah@yahoo.com