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Objections to Marriage Permanence Answered (Part 3)

Jun 13, 2019

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The following is the third part in a series answering common objections to the unbreakable nature of the marriage covenant. The video series on my Youtube and Godtube channels is a bit longer, as my ministry partner who is asking the questions gets more detailed, and raises other objections in the middle. I recommend looking at the video series for this reason.

This section answers: Objection 1: Remarriage isn't sin if the unbelieving spouse departs.


A believer is not bound to the unbeliever if they leave


The teaching that we can accept a divorce, if it is forced upon us by an unbeliever, is indeed taught in the New Testament, in 1 Corinthians 7:12-15. This passage begins by instructing about if a believer is married to an unbeliever, and telling us that, if the unbeliever accepts living together, you stay with them, and actually that your union will help make them holy, and it will also make the children holy. So do not depart from an unbeliever.


It then goes on to read: But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. (vs.15)


Some claim that because it teaches we are not “under bondage,” that we are not truly married anymore if the unbeliever departs, and then we can logically conclude we may remarry.

This is wrong. Number one, the passage never once says you can remarry. Just read it again. Number two, when it teaches we are not “under bondage” to the departed unbeliever, it uses a totally different Greek word than one referring to being “bound” in marriage, a word that actually appears elsewhere in this chapter and book referring to marriage.

When he teaches we are not “under bondage,” he uses the word Douloo. Douloo in Greek refers to being under heavy servitude, such as being oppressed by an enemy or being a slave of God.

Two of many examples are:

Acts 7:6 which reads:

 “But God spoke in this way: that his descendants would dwell

in a foreign land, and that they would bring them into bondage

and oppress them four hundred years.”

And Romans 6:22, which reads:

But now having been set free from sin, and having become

slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end,

everlasting life.

In contrast, the Greek word for bound in marriage is Deo, and this word can also have to do with items being bound up together. It is NOT for heavy servitude. By saying we are not “under bondage” rather than “bound,” Paul is teaching we are not a slave to the other partner, and do not need to fulfill our responsibilities for them, or continue to struggle for the marriage. We can be at peace, as is suggested at the end of the teaching: God has called us to peace.

Also, I would warn you of how churches tend to use this alleged exception; they widen it drastically. Some use it to allow remarriage when it was actually the believer who left. Some wiggle with the definition of a believer, and allow remarriage due to this or that different doctrine. Some wiggle with the definition of “depart” and suggest that a spouse who tends to spend some time away from home has “departed,” and thus a divorce and remarriage is acceptable. So this alleged exception gets blasted wide open by most churches that use it.

Most importantly, remember, the very same chapter, and multiple books of the New Testament, teach that remarriage is adultery, and that we are only free to remarry after the death of a partner. The Word of God does not disagree with itself. It is a harmonious whole. Therefore, we should never expect it to teach something different here than elsewhere, and the end of this very same chapter teaches clearly that we are bound in marriage until death. This teaching fits in harmony with the rest, if we recognize it allows for us to accept a divorce that’s been forced on us by the unbeliever, but not to subsequently to remarry. It would be quite convenient, and appealing to the flesh, if it were the other way around, but it is not. God’s way is a sacrifice, and it puts the flesh to death. It’s not easy.


You can find my marriage book Get Married and Save the World right here: https://www.xulonpress.com/bookstore/bookdetail.php?PB_ISBN=9781 545659052&HC_ISBN= 

It is available on e-book here: https://www.amazon.com/Get-Married-Save-World-Christian-ebook/dp /B07RT6ZKCL/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1558227515&sr=8-1

Feel free to sample some excerpts from the book: https://www.holinessofthebride.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Bo ok-Portions-and-Sales-Link-for-Website.pdf 

I’ve been working for holiness and reform in the Church at this website: https://www.holinessofthebride.com/ 

Contact me anytime at: kodeshkallah@yahoo.com